Monday, January 5, 2015

Married Life with Kids: Priorities

Just imagine: you’re alone in your house with your husband for one whole hour. What do you do with such precious time? Do you vacuum? Pick up Lego's? Take a 45 minute long shower?  Or do you leave the dirty dishes in the sink, the toys on the floor, and sneak upstairs with your hubby for some much needed alone time?

For some of you the last choice might be a no brainer. For others, you actually have to think about it because you’re so use to putting your kids before your marriage and even yourself that the thought of doing something for yourself feels like a crime. Although it’s normal to put our kids first when they are little, we can’t forget about our husbands in the meantime. 

What happens when you look in the mirror someday and you don’t recognize who you are? Or, you barely recognize or know your husband because you have put your marriage on the back burner for ‘the sake of the kids’?

Our roles as parents will change drastically over the years. Your children will need you in different ways as they grow up; however, your spouse will always need you in the same way. If your marriage is changing it should be for the better, not for the worse. 

Every child is a blessing and a gift from God. Being blessed with children also means that we have been blessed with a huge responsibility; raising human beings to become responsible, God loving adults.  While doing that we also have to remember to take care of ourselves, and especially our marriages.

Right now, you may feel like you’re lucky to even get five minutes alone with your spouse before one of you is asleep or doing something with the kids. Remember, this is just a short season of parenting. Soon enough there will come a time when your kids are off at college and you are home alone together EVERY night and weekend. Before you know it, you will be retired and will be together all day every day. 

It’s natural as a mom to want to put your child’s needs before your spouses; however, it is essential to make a conscious effort to make time where your spouse comes first on a daily basis. 

When you're nursing around the clock and chasing around a potty training toddler it can be hard to find the time to be romantic or even say hi for that matter. I hate to break it to you, but you have to WORK at keeping your marriage alive during this busy time. 

A quick kiss while kids are eating, a 10 minute conversation while a TV show is on, or a prayer together before bed is all better than nothing. 

Next time you see your husband, whether its tonight, tomorrow morning, or next month, give him some extra attention. I promise you it will be a glorious surprise to him and will make you feel good too. Let him know that although your lives are very different now and you might not feel as sexy now that your covered in finger paint, diaper cream, and baby food, you still love him madly and want him to be your number one. 

God made marriage for our enjoyment, and this joy should only grow as the years go on. Now is the time to work on your marriage, not when the kids are gone.

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord” Proverbs 18:22

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