Friday, November 14, 2014

Finding Your Way as a New Mom

The day I held my little blue eyed curled lipped bundle of joy in my arms for the first time I was a changed woman. I never realized how much my world would be turned upside down when I became a mom. I suddenly felt that I, as a person, no longer existed and that I, as a mom, had taken over. My needs no longer mattered and mama bear claws appeared that I didn’t know existed.

Showering no longer happened on a daily basis, my outfit choices consisted of yoga pants and nursing tops. When I was not breast feeding, I was either pumping, changing a diaper, scheduling in a time to pee, trying to sooth a crying baby, or washing millions of baby items. If someone I didn’t know or even someone I did know tried to touch or hold my baby without washing their hands I had no problem speaking up and throwing some hand sanitizer at them. My mama bear claws really came out anytime someone tried to tell me what I should or should not be doing with my baby. These claws felt foreign to my normally passive, go with the flow self.

During those first few months my favorite time of the day was when I was nursing, not only because it was so special, but also because that was when I could make a phone call, read my devotional, or find out what was going on in the world. I had forgotten what it was like to be me, and to think about what I wanted to do or what I felt like doing. I forgot what it was like to sit down and relax, to share a romantic meal with my husband, and wake up when I felt like it. Every decision that I made now revolved around my baby.

When I look back on those first few months of motherhood I wonder if I would do anything differently. Should I have asked for more help from my family? Should I have relaxed on the breast feeding a little and let my husband do more than one feeding so I could have gotten more sleep? Should I have rocked him less, and sleep trained at an earlier age? Should I have tucked in the bear claws a little? The answer is no, I would not have changed a thing. Because at that moment when my world was turned upside down and the super natural mom powers given to me by God had taken over those things felt right. Everything that I did as a new mom, and everything that I do as a mom today, I did because it felt like the right thing to do based on my feelings, personality, values, lifestyle, God’s word, and the power of the Holy Spirit working through me. Now that I am no longer a new mom, I will most likely do things a little different with my future newborns.  However, just like with the first baby I will still stick to my gut instinct and do what feels right in my mommy brain.

Every mother on this planet is different and every child on this planet is different. God made us each unique for a reason, it’s part of His plan. Therefore, there is no blueprint or right or wrong way to mother. It’s always helpful to get some advice from experienced moms or family members; however, at the end of the day we have to mother in a way that aligns with our values and standards and with Gods. When we become new moms our lives have already been flipped upside down so there is really no room for playing the comparison and doubting game. God provides clear orders in the Bible about self-doubt and comparing ourselves to others. “Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other” (Galatians 5:25-26). In other words, try not to compare your mothering style with others or doubt your gut instincts. Instead go to God in prayer, give yourself to Him, and allow His truth and the power of the Holy Spirit to guide your way.

Changing diapers, breast feeding, and figuring out how to be romantic with your hubby again are all things that God is interested in. God knew that you were going to be a mom before you did. He designed you to be a mom and gave you and has available for you all of the tools you need to be the mommy to your unique child. Trust in the power of the Holy Spirit and let God be the source of your new life as a mom. God will not let you fail.

Tonight, when you lay your head down on the pillow, feeling exhausted, sleep deprived and wondering what happened to your old body and life remember that you’re doing an amazing job at being a mom. Remember that every good thing you do for your child will result in a harvest of Blessings. “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9). 
Father God, Thank you for giving me the wonderful gift of being a mother. I feel so blessed. I treasure everyday with my child and wish to serve you in all that I do. I pray that I will raise my child to know and love You. Keep my family safe and surround us with your love. Amen

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